


Memories of you

by FirenzeSun



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Demon Deals, Depression, M/M, OT3, Rimming, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-28 11:05:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17181776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FirenzeSun/pseuds/FirenzeSun
Summary: When John sets the timeline back there's one thing he carries with him, and those are the memories of Gary.Meanwhile, Gary decides to help his ex-lover to save his not-so-dead boyfriend while he tries really hard - and fails - to not keep falling for him.This is a story about love when the timing isn't right, and about broken people finding their happiness.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this was supposed to be a cute OT3 story and it turned into an angst fest. With a happy ending tho, so there's that.
> 
> This is at heart, a Constangreen story (it was born in the Constangreen server). Desmond, though important, isn't that heavily featured.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy.

Several knocks shocked Gary from his lazy TV zapping. The bangs against his door seemed frantic, urgent. Gary allowed himself one glance to check that he was properly dressed - jeans and an old t-shirt, no shoes - before opening the door.

Outside, pale with bags under his eyes, stood Constantine. He raised his blue eyes to look at Gary, who felt like he was hit by the helplessness in them. Now, it was Gary's heart who banged frantic against his chest.

"John, what happened?"

"Gary, love, I need your help," his normally deep voice was high. It was fear.

Aghast, Gary rushed to let John in. "Are you hurt? Is someone chasing you? What's happening?"

John collapsed on Gary's sofa with none of the grace he normally possessed. "I'm not- Nobody's-" he paused as if words were hard. "It's my mind."

This was a far cry from the man who had pushed Gary against a wall, after a night of shameless flirting through roleplay, and with a hand between them had pumped both till completion. That John had been in his element, had confidence and smoothness. This John was fragile, like he could be broken by a gasp of wind.

"What do you mean 'your mind'?" Gary asked sitting next to John. He wanted to hold him, to take off his jacket and make sure with his own eyes and hands that John wasn't hurt.

"Too many images," he said. "I see things that are not here, and- and I know this is no magic. I feel like I'm in two places as one, and I no longer know what is real." John looked at him imploringly. "Gary, I think I did something wrong."

"Tell me, John. You can trust me."

John smiled at him. "I know."

But the smile soon fell from his face.

"This is not when I should be. I sent Desmond away but also I didn't. And he's dead and his alive, it's Schrödinger's cat trapped in my mind. It's like I'm split in two; when is and when's not. I am no longer sure of when I am. It is as if I am in the center of all this but my mind is all over the place- the time," John rambled in a way that was not characteristic of him.

Gary frowned, taking advantage of John's pause to make a sense of things.

"You think you messed up with time?" Gary asked carefully.

"I don't know, maybe," John panted, his body buried in the cushions of Gary's sofa.

"Is it like you have another timeline in your head?" Gary continued questioning.

"I don't understand it." John looked imploringly at Gary. "It hurts."

Gary couldn't stop himself this time and caressed John's temple with a hand. "I know."

"No, not there," John whined. "My heart. I'm heartbroken and I have no reason to be."

Gary removed his hand and sighed to gather strength.

"Come on, John. Let's go so we can see what's happening," he said standing up.

"No." John tensed up. "I don't need the Time Bureau, I need  _you_."

Gary fought the impulse to clench his eyes in pain. He had wanted to hear those three words from Constantine before, but not like this. Never like this.

"John, I can't- We have equipment there and brilliant minds. I can't help you here, not just me. Please," Gary said grabbing John's hand and tugging at them so he would stand up.

John complied. But his mind hadn't registered Gary's words. He had focused instead in those dark eyes that look at him imploringly, with love and worry. John needed comfort though he didn't know why. What he did know was that he was standing in front of a man he trusted.

"Dez," he whispered.

This time Gary couldn't help to make a grimace.

"Come on, John, let's go," and this time there was no cheer in his voice. He hurried to set the time courier to the Time Bureau and then he put an arm under John's armpits. "Come on, let's go."

.

When Gary arrived with John they were received by Mr. Heywood who was filling in Ava's role. Gary tried, he truly did. He wanted to help John. But he never hated being himself more than in this moment, when Mr. Heywood questioned him and he spilled all the beans.

He had tried to not incriminate John. He had. But he was himself so he had not even finished talking when Mr. Heywood interrupted him and ordered him to imprison John.

John was charged with suspected time crimes and deemed unstable.

The Time Bureau did not cared for its prisoners unless they could exploit them. And they definitely did not care about helping John. The Custodians of the Chronology were of no help, they only cared for blood since Captain Lance had been killed. So nobody cared to listen to Gary and nobody was helping John.

Thankfully, Gary gained an ally on Mona who helped him enter John's cell. Gary slipped off everytime he could to visit John. The advantage of nobody paying attention to him was that nobody noticed his absences. He had lunch with John and chatted with him even when John couldn't follow his entire conversations. But Gary smiled and continued chatting.

The rest of his time he spent on research, and he would tell John all about it the next day, in hopes that John had some clarity of mind. But there were no changes save for the worst. But Gary didn't give up and everyday he would smile and go to see John.

Then, one day, he ran into himself.

.

Dez was in Hell and John was heartbroken. He had talked to Sara and now he was in his new room inside the Waverider, after finally accepting that he needed a team. Now that his mind was clear, most of the memories from the other timeline were gone. But the ones that remained were incredibly vivid and had one thing in common.

Gary Green.

He remembered Gary taking care of him, seeing him every day while in confinement. He remembered Gary clearly worried about him and researching how to help him. He remembered the food he would take him, different meals and even he sneaked in some beer.

And the memories would mix with that of this timeline. Those nights he spent with Gary before he broke his heart. How Gary would look at him, big eyes full of wonder and an even bigger smile.

John had a resolution then. He realized he had to make amends. He couldn't let it be that the last thing said between them in this timeline was when he broke up with him.

"Sara, I'm taking the Jumpship," he let her know.

"Why?" she asked suspiciously.

"Don't worry, I won't be traveling through time, I just want to go to Washington in present time. I'm going to see Gary."

Sara couldn't help herself. "Gary, huh?" she said raising an eyebrow.

John glared at her. "Have a problem with that, love?"

"I'll take you with the time courier Ava lend me, I'm heading to see her anyway."

Soon enough, John was in front of Gary's apartment door. He almost bailed, but it was the thought of Gary's warmth soul what made him knock on the door. He had to set this right.

Gary opened the door and the sight of him was like a balm for John's soul. John didn't fail to notice how he was dressed basically the same as the last time he had knocked on his door, in a different timeline.

"Can I come in, squire?" John asked before Gary could talk.

"Yeah, yes, sure," Gary said flustered. "Is everything alright?"

"That depends on your definition of alright, but there's no imminent danger if you're wondering."

John looked at the sofa where he had collapsed asking Gary for help, and instead stood awkwardly.

"You wouldn't happen to have some scotch, would you? There's some things I want to tell you and they're better said with a drink in hand."

Gary gapped. "I- I do," he said rushing to the kitchen and taking one from a cupboard. He had bought it when he was still dating John, if he could call dating a few sex encounters.

Glasses ready, John sat on Gary's couch. "You better get yourself comfortable, squire, this will be a long story."

Gary sat next to him, on the other side of the couch, still unsure about what this was all about. So he listen with trepidation when John started talking, trepidation that turned into heartbreak when John mentioned Desmond, the man he loved. It wasn't that John was incapable of love. He was incapable of loving him.

After the first time they were together, when the D&D session was over. John had stayed and had pushed Gary against a wall to kiss him. Gary couldn't believe it that a man like John would ever want someone like him. But then John had put his hands inside their pants and jerked them off until they finished.

That had been it for a while until John called him to hunt a dragon. In the middle of excitement of going off to a real adventure involving dragons Gary had said it had been his first time.

"Your first time with a man?" John had asked and Gary had shook his head. "Oh," was all John had said then.

Afterwards, when they had dropped the dragon head with the Legends, John hadn't pursued him further. Gary had hoped then that John would want more. But he had understood it, John wasn't that kind of man. He had understood it afterwards also, even when his hopes had soared up after the unicorn.

But this changed it. It wasn't that John was incapable of love, it was him who wasn't worthy of being loved. Not by a man like John, or anyone really given his record.

His heart broke further when John told him how he had lost Desmond. How broken over it he still was. He then told him how he rewrote time, several times, until he finally fixed it.

Gary still was confused though. "I don't understand. Why are you telling  _me_  all of this?"

John chuckled darkly. "You helped me, pet. You helped me and were there for me every single day. It's me the one who doesn't understand. I used you, Gary. I shagged you and left you. I've only come to you when I needed something. Yet, you helped me. Hell, you're even listening to me now. I just don't get it, why are you so nice to me."

"Oh, that's easy," Gary blurted immediately. "You were nice to me first."

John sent him an incredibly confused look.

"When we first met. You said you wanted to listen to me. Nobody ever listens to me, and even in the few occasions they do, they're barely tolerating me, I know that. Instead, you heard me and celebrated me. That was a first."

John scooted closer to Gary.

"Gary, in that chaotic timeline you were my only constant. The only thing I could count on. Hearing you talk, even when I could barely form a coherent answer, kept me saner, kept me from collapsing. I'd could hear you talk every single day, in fact, I did."

John smiled and looked at Gary's open face. The surprise and doubt in his eyes. He couldn't resist it then. He moved further and kissed Gary.

For a few seconds, Gary lost himself in the kiss, in the soft glide of their tongues together, in the feeling of John's stubble against his lips, in his warmth body so close to his, in his smell. But it only lasted seconds, before he was pushing John away.

"John, no," he said, his voice shaking, his eyes still closed, gathering strength.

When he opened, when he saw John's perplexed look and his reddened lips, Gary had to swallow hard to not submit once more.

"You don't need to do this. I'll help you anyway to rescue Desmond. You don't have to- you don't have to give me something you don't want to so I- you don't have to."

"But what if I want to."

Gary looked up at that, his heart beating hard, trying to squish the hopes threatening to form.

"You love Desmond, not me." John's face fell, stricken by the pain and guilt. "And I'll help you get him back. I will."

"You know I didn't came here to ask you for your help, don't you?" John asked with a sigh.

"Then why did you?"

"Because I'm a mess, squire, and you're my constant."

Gary smiled. "I'm a former 37-year-old virgin, I have Beebo socks, my best friend is a cat and I have a job I can't talk to anyone about. I'm a mess too."

John smiled weakly and refilled his glass before raising it. "To messes."

"To messes," Gary echoed, clacking their glasses together.

.

"Mr. Constantine, Agent Green asks if he can visit," Gideon said while John was in his room.

"Sure, love," John said without raising his eyes from the book he was reading while sitting queerly in his bed.

The classical white light from the portal expanded in the room, and Gary was there. John finally raised his eyes to look at him but he didn't have time to greet him before Gary spoke:

"You should teach me magic," he suggested firmly.

"What, squire?" John asked surprised.

"You should teach me magic," he repeated. "I can hardly do any proper research when I don't know the basics or everything I find is things that you already know."

"I guess I could teach you some protection spells…" John started.

"No, John, you have to teach me everything," Gary was adamant while he went and sat on John's bed who had to suddenly move his legs so Gary wouldn't fall on them.

"Everything is a bit too much, squire."

"I've finished the Time Agent course in a year instead of the standard three, and six months of it I lost them only because of the physical exam. I'm a Dungeon Master for three editions of D&D as well as for eleven others role playing games. If you don't want to teach me you'll have to find another excuse rather than it's too much."

John sighed, aiming for honesty. "I know mostly Dark Arts, Gary. I'm a condemned man, but you… it might corrupt you."

Gary huffed. "It's not like I'm planning on using it. I mainly want to do research and be prepared."

John closed the book. "It makes sense. Alright, let's go," he said motioning to stand up. Gary stood put for a few seconds until he realized he had to move so John could leave the bed.

To their bad luck, they left the room at the same time Sara was walking on the hallway so she saw them get out together.

"Oh, so that's how it is," Sara mocked them and raised her eyebrows suggestively.

"No, it's not," John said abruptly.

"Oh, sorry," Sara apologized quickly thinking it was because it was still too soon for jokes after failing to change time to save Desmond. Gary also interpreted it like that. In reality, John was pissed because he didn't want to think of Gary in that way, it added even more guilt to his heavy heart. Additionally, he didn't want to get Gary's hopes up so he could have his heart broken by him all over again.

Whatever bad mood he had, it went away soon while teaching Gary in the library. Gary was a fast and avid learner. His creative mind arrived quickly to solutions it had taken John months or years to discover. They soon established a routine. Gary would go to the Waverider every day after work unless the Legends were too busy in a mission, or even Gary sometimes when work demanded him more time.

They stayed hours together in the library going through spells and books, and practicing - safely, either without the proper ingredients or without the proper incantation. It would take one of the Legends arriving to tell them it was dinner time, and after the first few days, Gary stayed too. Sometimes they continued studying after dinner. On those occasions, sometimes Gary ended up sleeping on the couch.

Some days however, when Gary arrived John was not in the mood for teaching. Usually it was when a mission hit too close home or when they could barely call it a successful mission, too many innocent lives lost. Then Gary would grab some beers and they drank together, sometimes in silence, sometimes John talked about what was bothering.

A few times, Gary hadn't showed up. So John had visited him to his apartment. It was after a bad day at work, when his clumsiness had gotten the best of him or his coworkers had been particularly cruel or too fast to dismiss him. Then, John would prepare a quick dinner, sandwiches usually and they would watch TV together until Gary felt better.

Time passed, as well as time can pass for someone living inside a timeship and a person working for a Time Agency. In addition to all of this, Gary conducted research on his little free time, and as he had done in the other timeline, he told John about it. John listened avidly, this time his mind was present enough to give devolutions and to pay attention to every single word out of Gary's mouth.

The Legends had also warmed up to Gary, when before they would groan or roll his eyes to his presence, now they included him on D&D nights. They even invited him to a few missions. One glorious day, when John had been injured, Gary summoned the portal to Hell, imprisoning the fugitive and saving the mission. That day they had all treated Gary like a hero, but what mattered the most to Gary was how John told him he was proud of him.

Gary thought this was as close to Heaven as he could be. He could say now that the Legends were genuinely his friends and now his closest friend was John. Only a few words or a few pointed looks and they understood each other. There was only one tiny problem. With each passing day, Gary was even more in love with John. He had tried so hard to fight it. He told himself that Desmond was John's love, not him. But it was pointless, the closest he was to John the more he found to love. It didn't matter in the end, he was doing everything he could to make John happy, even if John's happiness belonged with somebody else.

.

They had had a lead. A troll that had been known for helping Neron ascend into the Triumvirate of Hell the first time around. But because the universe never worked in John's favor they had had to save the village, and they had to kill the troll before it could give them any actual clue of how to save Dez or defeat Neron. So now, several months in, they were back at where they started.

The entire team was in a sour mood, knowing the implications of it. John had just grabbed the bottle of scotch when Gary appeared.

"If you're gonna lecture me that I shouldn't down this whole bottle then save your breath, pet."

"No," Gary said softly. "I think you should get off this ship for a while. Come to my place, I even have more scotch there."

John looked at him, and before he might had giving him a snide comment. But now, he trusted Gary full heartedly and if he was going to mellow in his sorrow, Gary was the best company he could have.

They portaled into Gary's apartment. John sat once again on that couch and didn't wait for Gary to come back with glasses, drinking directly from the bottle.

Gary came back and sat next to John, who passed him the bottle. Gary barely took a sip, knowing he didn't resist alcohol as well as John did.

"We've been trying for months to save Dez, and for all of our efforts we're not even closer. You should really run now Gary, before the darkness that surrounds me catches up with you."

"I'm not going anywhere," Gary said scooting closer.

John hiccuped, swallowing a sob. "You should run. I doomed the man I loved, I'll doom you too."

"No, you won't," Gary denied. 'Because you don't love me, not like that,' he thought but he did not say.

John's face was so crestfallen that Gary couldn't stand it anymore and pulled John into a hug, burying John's head in his neck. John let himself be handled and even hugged back. He hadn't cried since the very day that he had lost Desmond. He did now.

Gary hugged him hard and his heart ached for him. John's crying softened after a while and Gary kissed John's forehead. With the last shivers from crying, John sighed into Gary's neck and Gary kissed the side of his face, next to his eye. John moved back, and stared him with red imploring eyes. Then, he grabbed with a hand the back of Gary's neck and moved forward. Their lips meeting in a desperate kiss.

"John," Gary warned him.

"Please, I need this," John begged and what was Gary supposed to do but to kiss him again, deeper and painstakingly sweet.

"Okay," he sighed. "Okay," he repeated between kisses.

Gary hands buried themselves under John's coat feeling the heat of the other's body through the fabric of his shirt. It soon wasn't enough, so he found himself pulling at John's shirt to take him out from his pants until he could access to the skin of John's stomach. The angle was awkward and the clothes were an obstacle but it was the more alive he had felt in months.

Their lips didn't separate from one another, and once they did it was only to taste skin. Something which made the process of John's removing Gary's coat hard, who groaned out of frustration. When he managed to remove it, John kissed Gary one last time before holding one of his cheeks.

"Let me take you to the bed," he asked and the words themselves felt like a caress to Gary.

"Yes," Gary agreed in a trembling sigh.

It was then, in this pause while going from one place to another that Gary was assaulted by doubts. He shouldn't be doing this. He was supposed to be helping John to get Desmond back, not getting with him. Somehow, John seemed to sense his hesitation, for once they reached Gary's bedroom he spinned him around so he was facing him, barely any space between them.

"I want this," he affirmed. "I want  _you_. Quiet your mind, let's just remain in this moment."

Doubt was basically Gary's middle name, but looking at John's blue eyes, Gary found that when he lost himself in them he didn't have to listen to his mind. "Alright."

They undressed themselves with their eyes fixed on one another. Gary hadn't know that just removing clothes, with no touch from the other person, could be so intimate. Instead of caressing with his hands, John was caressing him with his eyes. As if each new inch of skin revealed to him was treasure to safe keep forever.

Meanwhile, Gary drank in the sight of John's naked body, something that he thought he would only see again in his memories. But here he was and this time he could appreciate it fully.

"John, you are… gorgeous."

John smiled at him. "You are the gorgeous one," and with that he kissed him and softly pushed him until they were both lying in bed.

It was marvelous how John's weight over him calmed Gary. It was as if this was meant to be. Or maybe it was the way John kissed him, drinking him in as if he was an endless manantial. A hand over his collarbone, keeping him steady, until it moved up, cupping his cheek flooring him in a complete different way. Gary's own hands traveled the expanse of John's back, unbothered now by dumb things like clothes. He had to feel him, press him against his body so they could try to become one. He had pinned over this for far too long.

His hands eventually ventured south, fondling John's ass. He pushed him down and they both had to break the kiss to moan at the contact between their groins. Then John pushed himself upwards, a smirk in his face. God, Gary had missed that playful glint in his eyes.

"Do you still keep everything in the same place, babe?"

Gary blushed and nodded.

"God, you're so cute," John said before coming down to give him another kiss.

Still with a smile on his face John extended his hand to look for the lube in the nightstand. He touched around and his hand caught a cylindrical object that was not the lube.

He grabbed the dildo and made it stand on the nightstand. "Kept busy, didn't you?"

Gary blushed hard in response and John's smile grew.

"We'll have to use it some other time," he whispered into Gary's ear before biting his earlobe and making Gary moan.

Finally, his hand closed around the lube and a condom. As soon as Gary noticed John had everything, he moved his legs from under John. He planted his feet on the mattress, letting John fall between his thighs. The invitation couldn't be clearer.

"Alright, babe, alright," John panted, arousal running strong through the fast pumping of his heart.

He lubed his fingers and without removing his gaze from Gary's, he begun to prepare him. He loved the way Gary reacted. He was so open in how he received his pleasure. John catalogued every single twitch of Gary's facial muscles, every single breath that abandoned his open lips, the pressure of his hands on his back and that smile that even know wouldn't leave Gary.

This was already so much, going all the way would probably be a mistake, but John couldn't get himself to care right now.

"Are you ready, love?" John asked after a while.

Gary nodded. "Yes, please."

John opened the condom wrapper with his teeth and hurried in rolling the condom over him. Then John was pushing into him and Gary's breath caught in his throat. He was barely in and Gary already felt overwhelmed. It was more than just the physical act that was still fairly new to him. It was the way John was looking at him, the way he was treating him. Almost as if-

John finally buried himself fully inside of Gary, who moaned long and loud.

"Gary," John whispered, as if he couldn't believe what was happening, as if it was a miracle that he had Gary between his arms, and no, Gary thought, the miracle was all the other way around. That this was happening again, that John looked at him as if this was for him too more transcendental than just a night of sex. Gary trembled at the sweet drag of John's cock against his insides and in that moment he knew. There was truly not getting over John. He might eventually, in a future, move on, but there was not getting past the fact that John was the love of his life.

A tear fell from the side of Gary's face.

John cleaned it with his thumb and kissed the side of Gary's eye while his hand went to tangle in his hair. His pace was slow and firm, each thrust meant to be felt and savored. He licked Gary's jaw before landing on his mouth and kissing him.

"You're perfect," he whispered.

"John," Gary sighed, his voice tight with pleasure and emotion. "I love you."

John whimpered.

He kissed Gary with a sudden move, an arm sneaking out under his waist to pull him closer. The angle changed with that and Gary pulled away to scream, every thrust landing now directly on his prostate. John's other hand searched frantically for his, he tangled their fingers together as if he needed this connection. It was as if John was telling him it was mutual even when he couldn't say it back out loud.

Their pace grew more frantic. Each thrust was still deliberate though, with intention. Gary grabbed tight to John's hair while a litany of "John" spilled from his lips; he was so close. The friction of John's stomach against his cock was more than enough to get him there.

"Gary, I-" John cut himself abruptly, choking up on emotion and a moan.

However, Gary completed the rest of the sentence in his head and he came with a shout of his name. John instead, when he came some thrusts later, did it silently, barely a whimper. Tears gathering up once more in his eyes.

They laid together in silence for a while, contempt with hearing each other breathing. After a while, responsibility won over and John got up reluctantly. He threw the condom away and retrieved a cloth to clean himself and Gary.

When he was finished, he stayed up a few seconds looking at Gary who was in bed with his eyes closed but his beautiful grin etched in his face. John took his decision right there, and with a sigh he climbed to bed next to Gary, rearranging the sheets so it covered them both. He lied on his side, arms and legs clinging to Gary.

This was not betraying Desmond, this was holding on to whatever happiness he could find. John knew that of all the things he did in this past time, this would be the one action Desmond would approve the most.

He drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face, the soft skin of Gary's shoulder against his cheek.

.

Gary woke up in bed alone and his heart sunk. Last night had been the most amazing night of his life, even better than the night he lost his virginity. Though it was probably for the better, he believed. Better that John had pulled his disappearing act than he had stayed, as if they weren't in a quest to save his boyfriend.

This was complicated already as it was.

He couldn't exactly regret succumbing to John, John had needed the comfort of physical contact. He could provide that to John. But he did hate that he had been so weak, so selfish, that he had claimed someone who was not his to claim.

A clacking sound came from outside his bedroom, and once the initial scare was over Gary realized that John was still in his apartment. More aware, he could now notice the smell of breakfast. The scene was incredibly domestic, and a new wave of guilt came over Gary.

John should be having this with Desmond, not him.

Gary got up fast, a decision was made. It was an idea that he hadn't told John about. He would probably reject it and it chances of success were low. Especially as it wasn't entirely formed, but this was it. He got dressed quickly and silently, for the first time ever with no accidents, no tripping.

He left a note for John in the pillow, and opened up a portal.

Some time later, John entered the room with a smile. "Get up, sleepy head, breakfast is ready."

There was no one in the bed and John assumed Gary was in the bathroom until he saw the note.

" _Dear John,_

_I'm sorry for not telling you this, but you wouldn't have approved it and you might have made me change my mind. Last night was the best night of my life, but we both know it should have been with Desmond, not me._

_I had an idea of how to bring him back to you, but I was not sure so I didn't do it before. Sorry for that too, for being that much of a coward._

_If this plan works then I wanted you to know that I love you, and this is goodbye._

_Love,_

_Gary"_

John reread the note several times, his eyes unbelieving of what he was seeing.

No, no, no, no. His eyes soon filled with tears. Not this again, please. Frenetic, he searched for a phone, he didn't even wait for an answer before he was saying.

"Sara, I need your help!"

Not Gary, please, not him too.

.

Gary swallowed nervous. The candles were in place, all the ingredients lied on the bowl and he had finished the last part of the enchantment. He had chosen an unused Time Bureau warehouse. The creepiness factor would probably help what he was about to do. He checked one more time that everything was in place and he took the knife.

He ignored the shaking of his hands and with the knife he did a slice in his hand. The sight of blood dripping through his palm gave him nausea, but he pulled through and while the blood drops fell on the bowl, he began chanting.

Black smoke filled the air over the demonic circle he had drew. The smoke begun to take the shape of a body, until what looked like a human body formed. But Gary knew better.

He looked at Neron in what he assumed it was Desmond body, and swallowing he said.

"I have a deal to offer you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun, dun, dun.
> 
> The following two chapters need only editing so they should be uploaded soon.
> 
> I hope you guys liked it and don't forget to comment.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, I know that there's no way Desmond's surname is Laveau but I was too lazy to think of something more original, anyway, enjoy.

"Tell me, what kind of deal are you proposing to me?" Neron said using Desmond's voice though it echoed with evilness.

"I- my soul, effective immediately, in exchange for getting back Desmond Laveau's soul and body intact, alive and well; plus the deed for John Constantine's soul," Gary was proud, his voice has barely shaked while looking at one of the three rulers of Hell.

"And why should your soul be worth all of that? Why should that be enticing to me?" Neron licked his lips while saying the word enticing, as if he was imagining how Gary would taste. Gary wanted to puke.

"Because- until half a year ago I was a 37-year-old virgin," he said. Neron's eyes widened at that. He was clearly getting interested. "I've only been with one man in this time," Gary swallowed, he knew this would hook Neron, "John Constantine."

Neron laughed throwing his head back.

"You're telling me John Constantine got his hands on sweet little you?" his smile was back to predatory. "You must be the purest lover he ever had, I'll love to break you and corrupt you."

Gary wanted to run, to get away. Every instinct in him was telling him to escape, but he held on for John. After all, if he was going to Hell, he should get used to this.

"You're too pure and I should warn you," Neron said as you would say to your food. "You're wasting your life for the likes of Constantine. He's rotten and he belongs in Hell. Sooner or later, he'll strike another deal and he'll once more belong to me and your sacrifice would have been in vain. Are you sure you'll have eternal damnation for the likes of him? He will forget about you soon enough."

"Yes," Gary said resolute. He knew they would use John against him. That they would taint every nice and shared moment with John to torture him. That soon, in Hell, not even the memory of his life for John would help to comfort him. But he had taken his choice. "My soul in exchange for Desmond Laveau's soul and body, I want him intact and well, and healthy both physically and emotionally; as well as the nullment of the deed for John Constantine's soul."

"Oh, I like you. You know what you want, it'll be so fun to destroy you." Neron extended his hand. "With this, the deal will seal, you'll die and I'll take your soul with me to Hell and I'll grant you your request."

"Alright," Gary agreed, and he was about to raise his hand when he heard a familiar sound at his back.

A portal had opened.

"Gary!" he heard John scream. There were more voices out there, all calling for him, but he could only focus on one.

He didn't turn around or he would lose his nerve. Instead, he raised his hand, his eyes fixed on Neron's unnerving grin.

"Gary, no! Stop! Gary!" John sounded desperate, but after this he would have his chance at happiness. He would move on quickly from his death and he would be happy with Desmond as he deserved.

His hand closed around Desmond's, who squeezed back. And wow, even just that grip hurt.

"GARY, NO!" John's screams were piercing.

As everything turned black, Gary thought that it wasn't such a bad way to go with John's voice ringing in his ears.

.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

John repeated it over and over again while he prayed to a God who had long since forsaken him. He had arrived too late, Gary was already finishing the deal with Neron and he was going to lose it just as he had lost Desmond. Who, to make matters worse, was currently being possessed by Neron.

He screamed and shouted, begging Gary to stop but Gary didn't turn around. When his hand touched Neron's John's tattered remains of his heart broke into a million pieces.

However, he did not had time to dwell on that. Neron gave one piercing shout, smoke coming out from where his hand held Gary. Both bodies fell to the floor like dead weight.

The piercing scream continued, but Desmond's mouth didn't move. From it a dark cloud aroused and Neron's true form took shape. Grey, full of holes from the composition of stolen souls that gave him shape and power. But it was marred, burning and blistering. What was supposed to be his hand, it was instead a mangled stump.

From years of ignoring his own feelings, he shoved down his hurt and pain, and shouted to the Legends. "He's weakened! We can stop him now!"

The Legends attacked. Fire, blasts, wind and everything they had. Neron tried to avoid the hits but he was too weakened and mostly landed on him. John arrived to where he was, and took out his demon blade. Normally the blade only worked on lesser demons, but this one time Neron was too weak.

John approached him with all the hurt and rage, the bodies of Desmond and Gary lying at their feet. He carried all that onto his hand, all that fated love moved his hand.

He buried the blade on Neron's stomach, and then sliced through upwards, until reaching Neron's very throat. Neron did not scream, he was unable to, still he released a piercing hurting sound that made everyone but John cover his ears. And then he was gone, just ash floating away in the wind.

John fell to his knees.

He looked to his right, Desmond was lying there. He rushed suddenly, adrenaline once more in his system. He checked him. He was breathing.

He was breathing.

John muttered a fast spell to check any traces of demonic activity. Nothing. What he did find was a soul, Desmond's soul fine in his body. He then noticed a scroll on the floor, he took it and called for help.

"Sara! Take him to the medbay now!" he only waited until he saw that Sara had heard him before he turned around and checked on Gary.

His glasses were broken, and his face was contorted. He checked him. No breathing, no heartbeat.

"Gary, no, please!"

So he begun CPR at the same time that he said another spell, one that would help him hold to Gary's soul while he insufflated life back to Gary's body. Desperation was taking over him, until Gary finally gasped. He remained unconscious but he was once again breathing. John didn't allow himself to breath in relief though, but instead took him to the Waverider, through the portal Ava - who had tear tracks in her face - was holding for him.

Later, he collapsed in the medbay, between the recovery bodies of his two lovers. He didn't cry, not anymore. Gideon had reported that both were fine, but they needed time to be on full health. So John waited there, unmoving between the two of them. After a while, Zari entered. She said nothing, just sat next to John on the floor on silent companionship.

.

Gary was surprised he didn't wake up in pain. He thought Hell wouldn't wait to start torturing him. He blinked and the clean white light surprised him too. He blinked some more and he was in the familiar room of the Waverider's medbay.

"Gary," he heard his name being whispered, and oh, what a difference from the last time he had heard that voice. There was relief in it. "Gary, you're awake."

"I don't understand it," Gary said confused, a bit afraid too, "why am I not in Hell? Did it not work?"

John chuckled, but it was a sad, tired laugh. "It worked, it worked too well, mate." John took his hand in his and gathered air. "You- your- you have such a pure soul," the way John looked at him, he had never seen John with such a soft expression. "When Neron tried to claim your soul, he wasn't able to. Your purity," John caressed Gary's knuckles with his thumb, "was too much for him. It wrecked him. But even when he was unable to claim your soul he was still forced to fulfill the deal. You died, Gary," John said and his eyes filled with tears. It was then that Gary noticed that John's eyes were red not just from the tears of the moment. "You died and I had to get you back."

Gary sat straight on the chair, scared. "You didn't- you didn't make a-"

John smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "No, I didn't make a deal, I just did CPR."

"Oh."

John eyes filled with tears once more. "Why would you do that? Why would you do something so stupid and unselfish?" his voice was completely broken.

"I thought I made it clear on the note."

John opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but couldn't get out the words. Gary then saw the split of a second where a resolution formed in John. So he removed his hands from John's and placed it on his shoulder, holding him in place so he wouldn't kiss him.

"So is Desmond alright? Is he back?" Gary asked instead.

"You saved him," John answered adoringly. "Gideon already cleared him."

"That's good," Gary said relaxing back into his chair. "You deserve a second chance with him."

Gary let his hand fell from John's shoulder.

John face fell too. He comprehended Gary's dismissal but didn't understand it. After everything that happened, Gary was just letting him go? However, he would respect Gary's wishes. He grabbed his hand once more and kissed his knuckles.

"Thank you for everything," he said and looked at Gary's eyes that refused to meet him.

"No problem."

John left then, without looking at Gary's face, wanting to look at him one last time but unwilling to see rejection in his face. Afterwards, Gideon kept the rest of the Legends away from the medbay so Gary could cry inconsolably in private.

.

Some days Gary's not sure if he truly isn't in Hell. It's like a switch went off and all of his coping mechanisms are no longer effective. The stories, whether fantasy or sci-fi, no longer distracted him, work became bothersome instead of inspiring. Being a nerd no longer satisfied him. He knows it wasn't just about John, though it definitely didn't help. There was something deeper at play here.

After a few weeks of everything feeling the same, he approached Ava's office.

"Hello, Director, I hope you are not busy," he said standing at her door.

"No, Gary, come in," she said adamantly, and Gary tried really hard of taking her tone as one of caring and not one of pity. "What can I help you with?"

"I want to present my resignation to the Time Bureau," Gary said matter-of-factly.

"What?!" Ava asked shocked. "But you- the Time Bureau-"

"The Time Bureau is the only thing that I have going on in my life, yes," Gary finished for her. "That's why I need to leave, I feel like I'm stuck here, and I'll never be able to move on. Too much routine in here."

"Where will you be going?" the concern in Ava's voice was palpable. And hey, maybe Ava was indeed his friend.

"I was wondering if you could talk to Captain Lance, I know they're in need of a warlock since J-Constantine walked out. And no, this time I'm saying I'm a real warlock."

"I'll- I'll tell her, yes," Ava responded, still processing Gary's resignation.

"Thank you," Gary said turning around to leave.

Ava stood up from her desk. "Hey, Gary," she called for him, "are you alright?"

Gary sighed. "No, I'm not. But I'm trying though."

"You know that you can count on me for anything, right?"

"I- yes," Gary said tearing up a bit and he walked back to her and hugged her.

Ava, bless her, didn't say anything about it being inappropriate office conduct and hugged him back.

Gary was expecting his departure would go quietly. That no one would notice, he was not expecting the surprise party that Ava, Nate and Mona organized for him, nor the amount of people who showed up. Though a part of him believed that they were there just because Ava had threatened them or because anything was a good excuse for a party. He enjoyed himself nevertheless, and even if for a little while he did got distracted.

.

Sara told the rest of the team about his addition. And then Ray was the one to take him to his new room.

"It's going to be fun to have you," Ray said with a smile. "Also Nate gave me the responsibility of looking out for his 'little bro' so I guess this sort of makes me your bigger step-bro or something like that. Anyway, welcome to the family."

Gary smiled weakly at Ray. "Thank you."

He was not carrying much in terms of personal belongings. He had to give away his apartment so he rented a deposit and took most of his stuff there. Some of the family memorabilia he took with him, but all of his nerd collections, that he left behind. He didn't need it on the Waverider, it was about time he grew out of it. Instead he started collecting books on the occult, wanting to learn more, to be prepared. That's what there was more of in his trunk.

He wished he could take Pippin, his cat to the Waverider, but despite what Zari said he didn't think it was a good place for a cat. So Ava took him in, while all he kept for company were his new magic books.

Being on missions proved to be fun, they distracted him and it was nice to pass the abilities he had acquired from the theory to reality. Being a warlock gave him some new meaning into his life. There was a beauty to magic he had only dreamt about meeting as a kid.

But when they were not on missions, when it was leisure time for the Legends, things were different. He was a fucking Legend now, he lived and work with the Legends. Any other time this would have been a dream come true.

However, it let him hollow now.

"Gary, tonight we're having a D&D session, are you planning on DMing?" Ray informed him while they were returning from the mission.

"Oh, I- Gideon found me an old book about Celtic creatures and enchantments. I need to study it to be better prepared if we find an stronger druid that the one we found in Egypt."

It was bullshit, and they both knew it.

"Come on, just have a moment to relax," Ray said. "You spend all day inside your magic books, come, live a little."

"I said I can't," Gary spat rudely accelerating his pace to his room, leaving a baffled Ray behind.

Some time later, Gary was indeed reading his Celtic book when there was a knock on his door and it opened up.

"Ray, thank you, but I've told you I'm not interested," Gary said without looking up from his book.

"I actually just wanted to see if you were alright, mate," and it was definitely not Ray talking. "I was surprised you've turned down a game night."

"John, what are you doing here?" Gary asked faintly, clutching his book against his chest, like a shield for his heart.

"The guys invited me for D&D, it's been a while," John said standing awkwardly by the door.

"How's Desmond?"

John closed his eyes for a second, hating how Gary used Desmond's name lately; to put a barrier between them, to remind John why they could never be.

"He's- we're fine," John replied. "But I wanted to see how you are. I haven't heard from you since you defeated Neron."

"I didn't defeat Neron, you were the one who killed him," Gary argued.

"I delivered the killing blow, but it was your beautiful soul what made it possible… and don't do this, Gary." John looked pained. "Don't change the subject. Look, I know why you want to keep away from me, but I just miss my friend."

"I- he's gone, John," Gary let go of the book that falls onto his bed, and grabbed his head with his hands. His eyes tearing up. "I don't know what happened that morning, but somehow Neron won. He killed a part of me."

"Gary, I-"

"Go, John, you'll miss the game with the guys," Gary interrupted whatever John was going to say. "Gideon, close the doors, please.".

"As you say, Agent Green."

The doors closed leaving John out. In the end, neither of them played Dungeons and Dragons that night.

.

It was in their next mission when Gary finally screwed it up in big. The Phoenix had corralled Charlie and its claws were extremely close to her face when Gary stepped in. He had successfully managed to distract it away from Charlie, making it focus on him. He was reciting the right spell to cage it, but there was something on the shine over it's dark eyes, that Gary froze. Unable to speak or defend himself.

The Phoenix cawed and was descending with his claws onto Gary. This was it, this was the moment.

The creature then suddenly released something close to a human scream and disappeared in a ball of fire. Sara had managed to throw her one of her daggers that had been previously enchanted by Gary.

"What the hell was that, Gary?" she questioned her angrily as she strode towards him. "You could have been killed."

Gary didn't answer. He was still frozen, but he had begun shaking.

"Gary, tell me right now what the hell was t-" but when Sara finally reached him she fell silent. "Gary, what's-" she said softly this time extending a hand to touch him.

As soon as her hand touched his arm, Gary fell down, sobbing loudly.

"Gary, Gary, what's happening?" Sara asked with motherly concern, kneeling next to him and holding him.

"I would have died and gone to Hell!" Gary managed to blurt out between sobs.

"Oh," Sara exclaimed, she understood now.

She let him cry out and then carried him to the Waverider. A while later, once Gary had had the chance to pull himself together, she poked her head in his room.

"You, me, beer. We've got to talk."

"You aren't kicking me out of the Legends, are you?" Gary asked frightened.

"Of course not, you're a bisexual disaster and overall mess; you  _are_ a Legend," Sara replied with a smile. "But we've gotta talk about what's been eating you."

Once in the kitchen, beer in hand, Sara started with a question.

"You read my file at the Time Bureau, didn't you?"

"Yeah?" Gary answered unsure of where this was going.

"So you know I was dead for over a year. Now, I'm lucky that I don't remember what it was like. So I know how you're feeling. Staying up at night, wondering where a former member of the League of Assassins could have gone when she died. Unlike you Gary, I did some truly bad things, and even with this second chance at life, I doubt I can ever redeem myself enough."

Sara took a long sip from his bottle while Gary played with the condensation in his.

"I- for me it's not that much about whether I deserve to go to Hell or not, but rather, I made a deal with a demon. Me going to Hell in exchange for John and Desmond's souls. In the moment, I did not let myself think about what it implied or I would have chickened out. But afterwards… I made a deal, and I'm cheating enough on it by being alive. I don't think I'll be able to also avoid going to Hell."

Sara blinked at Gary. "Didn't John explain it to you?"

Gary continued looking at his bottle. "We haven't talked much since then," he confessed.

"Alright, so we're definitely going to have to talk about that later," Sara said pointing at Gary with her almost empty bottle. "A demon deal isn't as much about you going to Hell but the demon  _taking_ you to Hell. He was contractually obligated to fulfill his end of the bargain, which he did. And you also fulfilled yours. It was Neron who failed to take your soul because it burned him. You did die, Gary, for several minutes. You don't have to worry about the deal anymore."

Gary sighed. "I guess."

"I know this won't just convince you. It's a process and something we have to find the energy to believe in. Maybe I can speak with Ava, see if she can access a therapist through the Time Bureau that won't consider you crazy," she then smiled, "I mean, more crazy than we all already are."

"Maybe, it'll help," Gary admitted.

"Great," Sara chirped. "Now, will you tell me what's the deal with John Constantine."

Gary knew that Sara would tease him until she got what she wanted so he didn't put up a fight.

"I made a deal to ensure the happiness of the man I love, and I don't regret it, but it still hurts."

"Love, huh?" Sara asked

"Yeah," Gary sighed forlornly.

"Look, I know it's a mess with Desmond being back and everything. But I want you to know that the way John behaved around you, he doesn't do that. When he was close to you I saw him relaxed and open in a way that I never saw him without you. Whatever there's between you, it's real and deep for John."

Gary smiled weakly at Sara, fond of how she could see where many of his insecurities lied. "Thanks, but that actually makes it worse," Gary sighed, taking the cold bottle to his forehead. "How am I supposed to move on?"

"Maybe you shouldn't," Sara suggested.

"What? I won't mess with his relationship with Desmond," Gary said scandalized.

"Relax, God," Sara laughed. "I'm not saying what you should do or not. But you  _should_  stop avoiding him and talk to him. You can't let how you both feel to rot locked away."

Gary grimaced. "You're probably right."

"Of course, I am," Sara grinned.

"But not yet, I need to pick myself up before I'm ready."

"You'll have the Legends help for that." Gary made a face at that, if there was something the Legends were not good at that was emotional steadiness. "So wanna go to the gym and kick each other's butts, try Sara Lance's patented method of dealing with feelings?"

Gary groaned and Sara laughed.

Unfortunately for Gary, the Legends did they best to pick him up. Their attempts many times were cringe-worthy however Gary was able to appreciate the attention. Noticing he had friends that wanted him to get better helped him to gain strength to try.

"Boss said you need to pull through some shit," Mick said one day in the kitchen. "Here, have this."

Mick put in front of him three very loaded hamburgers and a beer. Gary thanked him, and removed the bacon while Mick was not watching.

Ray tried to cheer him up by geeking out with him. He mostly took him around all kind of sci-fi and fantasy conventions, he even took him out on a Beebo convention. Zari talked to him instead, they talked about magic and religion and tradition. Charlie offered to do him a makeover, even to tattoo him which he profoundly rejected. She was however successful into getting him into cosplay again.

However, the most help came from seeing his new therapist, Dr. Linda Martin. She fully believed him, she had seen things apparently. She helped him go through his trauma and even gave him some meds.

"The brain is like a muscle, Gary. And right now is has forgotten how to be happy. We need to train it so it can feel happiness again," she had said.

Finally, one day he was ready to play Dungeons and Dragons again. When he walked into the library with his wizard gear on the entire team - guest starring Nate - applauded him. Gary blushed and looked around searching for him. Sara noticed it.

"We didn't invite him," she said. "We weren't sure…"

"We share the same group of friends, I ought to see him once in a while," Gary said. "Besides I can't keep avoiding him forever," he finished with a pointed look to Sara.

Sara smiled devilishly. "Gideon."

"On it already, Captain."

Moments later, John walked into the library.

"It looks like you were doomed without Cyndra, Lord of the Dark Elves, pets," but then John noticed Gary. "Oh."

"Hi," Gary said shyly.

"Hello," John answered still frozen in place.

Seeing John again aroused a platitude of feelings inside Gary. But at least now hurt wasn't chief among them. Yes, it still hurt but it was bearable. Among all, Gary realized how much he missed him.

"I guess we can start our session now," Gary said with a grin.

Oh, seeing that grin again healed a part of John's heart.

.

The session had been amazing and Gary remembered what he enjoyed so much about role playing. But it was over now and the Legends had scattered. John had stayed behind while he put away the figurines and cleaned the table. It reminded Gary of that first night a year ago, when he had first met John.

That time Gary had been nervous and flustered, John had appeared to him so distant and unattainable, like a rock star. Now, there was also a gaping distance between them, but with the weight of their history together. That night John had closed the distance, grabbing Gary and pinning him to a wall. Tonight, John acted timid.

"I think I should apologize," Gary started.

"No, you don't ha-"

"Last time we saw each other… The experience with Neron was more traumatic than I was expecting. I was depressed and scared, but I've got help, I'm better now." But John's face still looked as if he didn't want Gary to apologize. "I'm not apologizing for having PTSD, I'm apologizing for how I pushed you away."

John took a step closer, he met Gary's eyes briefly before looking down.

"It's okay, I get it," he said scratching his neck, his other hand buried in the pocket of his trenchcoat. "I get why you pushed me away. Part of me even wishes -don't get me wrong I'm glad to have Dez back- but part of me wishes you would have pushed me away sooner. It would have save you all that suffering."

"John, you've got to understand that I'd do it again," Gary said looking earnestly at John.

"Don't say that," John admonished him.

"Why?"

"Just don't," and then, "why?"

"You know why."

John got again that look he got only with Gary, he strode towards him and hugged him. "Don't you see it?" his voice sounded desperate, his arms tight around Gary's body. "When you were gone, when I had to bring you back, it felt like when I lost Dez."

Gary allowed a few more seconds, and then stepped back, though his hands remained on John's waist.

"I'm alive though, and Desmond is back. We've got the happy ending," Gary said but his smile trembled.

"Then why doesn't it feel like it?"

Gary closed his eyes, his heart crushing and he could feel all the spoons abandoning him. "You should go."

"Please, Gary," John begged and it sounded so wrong.

"I'm sorry," Gary said stepping back, tears falling from his face.

"Don't," John's voice broke. "I'm sorry I dragged you into all of this."

Gary remained with his eyes closed while John walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel the angst!!!
> 
> Hoped you liked and please remember to feed my feeling of validation through comments!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the ending, have two smut scenes at the price of one.

The memories of Gary's final words mixed with those of last night, when he had told him he loved him. John hadn't wanted to admit it, but he had recognized for weeks what had been happening. That slow process inside his heart. But he had done nothing about it for far too long and now he had lost Gary.

"Who was he?" Desmond asked as they entered John's apartment.

They had gone to John's, as neither was in the mood to deal with the paperwork of a resurrected person.

"Who was who?" John asked playing oblivious.

"The man next to me on the medbay, the one that you stayed with until he woke up," and there truly wasn't any jealousy on Desmond's voice but John heard it nevertheless.

"He's Gary Green, an Agent at the Time Bureau. He was the one that saved you," John replied playing safe.

"That I know, the Legends told me," and honestly who called themselves the Legends, what a name. "I'm asking who was he to you."

John's body tensed slightly more and Desmond noticed it. "He's my best friend."

Desmond however, knew John. "You know, I've been dead for months, I was told as much. I wouldn't judge it if you had moved on or met someone else."

John's first instinct was to divert and change focus, yet when he turned and saw the way Desmond was looking at him, his defenses fell. He dropped down his shoulders and remembered what it was like to be with him, to be open and vulnerable with one another.

"He means a lot to me, and I'll tell you about him, just not tonight, alright? Right now, I'm just happy I have you back," John said holding Desmond's cheek, touching the skin of the man he thought he would never feel again.

"You better," Desmond said but his soft smile belittled any threat.

John kissed him and as soon as their lips touched, he was overwhelmed with emotion. Gratitude, relief, guilt and keenly love. The kiss was soon salty out of John's tears.

"Let me feel you again, please," he cried.

"Yes," Desmond agreed between the kisses.

They made love and John was transported back to that first night they were together. It was sweet and powerful and tender. John was so glad of having back the man he loved once more in his arms. He barely thought about Gary that night.

.

Though he was rueful to admit it he did miss the Legends. They were annoying and a mess but they had become his friends and family. So when they invited him to D&D he didn't hesitate. He said goodbye to Desmond with a kiss and waited for Nate to pick him up with a portal.

"I'm never getting used to that," Desmond pointed out while John left him.

"That's because you haven't seen the possessed puppet," John said smiling.

"Oh, yeah, we still have it locked away," Nate chipped in.

"The what?" Desmond asked astonished.

John just smiled teasingly before disappearing through the portal. The team met him with claps on the back and hugs.

"Nate, you're DMing tonight, right?" Ray asked.

"I thought Gary was going to DM," Nate said confused.

"Nope, Gary said he wasn't going to play," Ray answered.

John perked up at that. "Is he alright?"

"Yeah," was Ray's first answer, "well, physically at least."

"I'm gonna go see him," John said worried not noticing the faces the rest of the team made. "Nate could you transport me to the outside of his flat?"

"Oh, haven't you heard?" Nate asked. "Gary quit the Time Bureau."

"He what?"

"Yeah, he's a Legend now," Ray said puffing his chest. "He's a great warlock."

John's anxiety however had intensified. He didn't doubt that Gary would make a great Legend, but for Gary to quit the Time Bureau…

"Is he in the Waverider then?"

Ray nodded.

"I'm going then."

"Oh, this isn't going to end well," Nate sentenced.

Nate was right. It didn't. It was a disaster. All of John's worst fears were confirmed. He asked Nate to take him back and went straight for the whiskey.

"You're back early," Desmond said coming from the bedroom. "Or was it time travel?"

"You should leave," John said without turning back, lying his weight on his hands over the counter. "You already paid the price of being with me once. You should leave before you have to pay it again."

"I'm not going anywhere," Desmond said firmly, determined.

At that John turned, whiskey in hand, his eyes cold and closed-off. "Funny the last person who said that to me went off the very next day to make a deal with a demon and is now a wreck of himself. Does my dick have some magical property that makes the people I'm with to run off to make deals behind my back?"

The words were meant to hurt but Desmond was having none of it.

"I've told you, you should stop putting other people's choices on your back. It was my choice to make a deal to protect you, and it was Gary's choice to bring me back.  _Our_ choice, not yours."

John smiled dryly. "You're leaving out how the common factor was all me. Hadn't I dragged Gary into all of this he would have known a thing about demons, less alone how to summon one, and he would still continue doing a job he loved and he would still smile. I broke with you once and it saved you. I only had to undo it because it broke time. Well, there's no time travel now."

"Are we truly back at this again," Desmond said coming to John and holding his head between his hand. "Johnny, you deserve to be happy."

It was those words what got through John. "No, I don't," he said with tears in his eyes.

"Johnny, I wish I could promise you nothing like this will ever happen but I can't. Shit happens. And sacrificing yourself for your loved ones is part of love. It still doesn't mean that we don't deserve to enjoy every single moment of this. We've got a second chance, are you really going to throw it all away? If anything, don't make Gary's sacrifice worthless. I love you, Johnny, and I'm not giving up on you."

John hugged Desmond, burying his tears in his neck. "I love you too, Dez."

.

It's D&D night again and the Legends invited him. He had gone a couple of times already but not that often. He went and was not expecting to see Gary there. Gary with his wizard costume and a shy smile. He was truly a sight for sore eyes. The session went as normal but he was only half paying attention, his eyes would drift towards Gary. How passionate he looked while he directed the game, how he reacted creatively to the surprises the team threw at him. He was in his element and he shone there.

The session ended, the team left and John stayed behind, wanting, needing Gary's company. He was hesitant though, he didn't know how much Gary would welcome his company or how to approach him. In truth, he just wanted to be as close to Gary as he could. But how could they be as before when so much had happened between them.

Gary broke the silence first and he was apologizing. But how could he when it was him who should apologize for tainting Gary with his darkness.

"John, you've got to understand that I'd do it again," Gary said and John was hit by the image of Gary's body falling, the emptiness when there was no pulse.

"Don't say that," John said because John didn't deserve such sacrifice from someone as good as Gary.

"Why?"

"Just don't," and then, "why?"

"You know why."

It hit John like a ton of bricks. How easily this man penetrated through all of his defenses. He knew Gary loved him and he- and he- he strode towards Gary and hugged him. "Don't you see it?" he asked desperately, holding Gary tight against him as if he was afraid if he let go he might lose him again. "When you were gone, when I had to bring you back, it felt like when I lost Dez."

Devastating, as if the tattered remains of John's soul were crushed until only dust remained. This was the stuff that John's personal hell was going to be about. Gary hugged him for a while and then he stepped back. His hands remained on his waist like a warm anchor.

"I'm alive though, and Desmond is back. We've got the happy ending," Gary said with a smile but John knew Gary's smiles by now and this was not it.

"Then why doesn't it feel like it?"

It was not the right thing to say apparently for Gary closed his eyes. "You should go."

"Please, Gary," John begged they couldn't leave things like this, so broken between them. There had to be some way of repairing it, of being close again.

"I'm sorry," Gary said stepping back, tears falling from his face.

"Don't," John's voice broke. "I'm sorry I dragged you into all of this."

John walked away and every step further away from Gary was like a stone in his heart.

When Desmond saw him, he understood what had happened. "How was he?" he asked while he removed John's coat.

"He was better, more like himself," because of course John knew who Desmond was referring to. Gary was always present between them. He was the reason why they were together again and he was the reason why sometimes Desmond would find John with a faraway sad look.

It was only because Desmond was good to John's emotional honesty that he said what Desmond truly wanted to know. "But I've lost him, I lost him completely."

Seeing the devastated look on John's face was enough for Desmond. He would have to face the elephant in the room. But for now, he just helped John undress and carried him to bed where they lied together in silence.

.

"Agent Green, you have a call," Gideon told him, she refused to call him anything but agent.

"Who is it Gideon?" Gary asked absent-mindedly.

"Mr. Desmond Laveau is calling you," Gideon informed.

To say Gary was surprised was an understatement. He didn't think Desmond would ever want to talk to him, about anything really. But he thought John might be in danger so he told Gideon to take the call.

"Hello?" he asked nervously.

"Hello, Gary. I'm Desmond, John's, well, John's boyfriend."

"Yes…"

"I wanted to meet you, personally, so I was wondering if you were free to come to my bar at 8pm tomorrow?"

"I- uh, yeah?"

"Great, I'll send Gideon the address," Desmond said and hung up.

What the fuck had just happened.

Gary stayed standing still in the middle of the bridge where Sara found him. She managed to get out of him what was had happened and then she smiled devilishly.

It was because of her that a day later, now Gary was entering Desmond's bar. She even had him dressed up; a nice pair of fitting jeans that she had Gideon specially fabricate for him, a tight fitting black t-shirt and a grey suit jacket.

He was a clutter of nerves when he walked to the bar. There was an empty stool and he went there for lack of a better thing to do. He sat looking nervously to his sides, so he jumped when in front of him, across the bar, he was spoken too.

"Glad you've came, Gary," Desmond said.

The voice was familiar but where before the evilness came through, now the voice was clean. Still, Gary jumped a bit when he sat his eyes on Desmond.

"I can assure you I'm demon free this time," he said.

Gary smiled nervously, "y- yeah, I- I can tell."

"So what can I get you?"

"I-" Gary hesitated looking around, he already hated ordering food on a normal day - all those choices -, but now was even worse. He looked around for inspiration, and saw what other patrons were having. "J-Just a burger with fries."

"And to drink?"

"A beer is fine."

"Excellent, coming right back," with that Desmond disappeared into the middle of the bar area and left Gary alone who was cursing himself for letting Sara push him into coming. He truly preferred facing Captain Lance in the gym than this, he should have taken that option. He would even face Mick if it'd take him out of this.

So lost was he in his own thoughts that he was surprised when Desmond appeared with his food.

"So, Johnny told me you're the new warlock on the Waverider, how's that?"

The question surprised him, but he soon began babbling about his first mission and how he had to start doing the spells he had only read about. And soon, that babbling turned into rambling more about magic, and how it differed from Dungeons and Dragons, but how at the same time it gave him enough of a base to make magic institual for him. Desmond made remarks and questions, only disappearing briefly to attend other patrons. After a while, Gary forgot how to be nervous.

Many of the patrons had left, Gary was now on his third beer and mani. He was now talking about why his Aunt Stacy had gifted him Beebo socks when during a pause, Desmond said.

"I totally see why John is smitten with you."

Gary choked on the mani he was having.

And oh, this was it. This was the moment when the much stronger than him boyfriend would kick his ass and tell him to stay away. Gary was already picturing himself having to find Cisco so he could move into a different Earth.

"I'm so sorry. I swear, I won't interfere with you two. It was- It was just a fling for John. And it was only one night. I mean, it was more, when we first met before he knew you and afterwards when he took my virginity but I didn't knew about you. And then the last time, but it was only because he was heartbroken about you because he didn't knew how to save you and he needed comfort. Nothing like that will ever happen again. I can leave and be elsewhere when it's D&D night on the Waverider. Or I could just move to a different Earth altogether. Just please don't break up with him, he loves you. Please, don't make me the reason he's unhappy again."

Desmond laughed, but it wasn't mockingly. "Relax, I'm not breaking up with him, nor I want you to get out. I just want you to be honest with me. Are you sure that what you've two had was just a fling?"

Gary sighs. "Yeah."

"So you're gonna tell me that all this time Johnny came back home looking heartbroken after talking to you when it was nothing more than a fling?"

Gary looked up from his plate and his eyes were already red. "He's just confused because he knows how I feel about him, and he's grateful for what I did. But he doesn't- he can't-  _you're_ the love of his life."

"Don't sell yourself short, Gary," Desmond said lying with his arms crossed over the counter. "John might be confused about what he has to do or how to solve this, but don't doubt about how he feels for you, that's real. I know him. It is real."

Gary deflated on his seat. "I- I don't know what you want of me," he said faintly.

"First, I need you to tell me how you feel about him," Desmond said firmly and for the first time there was an edge of a threat in his voice.

"I-" but Gary had to look away, a couple of tears had escaped and ran down across his cheek. "Please, don't make me say it. I've been trying to move on, but I just can't."

"I don't think you should," Desmond sentenced.

"I- what?!"

"I don't think you should give up on how you feel about John, somebody who fought so hard and sacrificed so much just to ensure Johnny's happiness. You shouldn't give up on that."

"I don't understand," because nothing of what he was hearing made sense.

Under his breath, Gary did a brief spell to check for demonic possession but nothing. He then did another spell to check for a shapeshifter like Charlie, or mind control, but they all came clear.

Desmond noticed of course.

"Yeah, it's me telling you this, out of my own free will. So, are you free to come tomorrow to have dinner at our place?"

Gary just stared at him with his mouth gaping.

"You faced a demon so John could be happy, and what you did helped. But it isn't enough. John clearly also needs you. I'm not giving up on him and neither should you. I suspected I might have to share John one day, and well, I'm glad it's with someone like you who clearly cares so much about him as I do," he paused. "So what do you say?"

"Is this a joke?" Gary asked. "Why- why-?" he shook his head. "I don't understand."

"You clearly have your own bag of self-esteem issues and we can discuss it some other time. But are you in?"

Gary sighed with a tremble. And he then took what was the bravest decision of his entire life, even braver than summoning a demon. "At what time tomorrow?"

Desmond smiled, and it was warm.

"It's 7pm fine for you?"

Gary nodded.

.

John didn't know about it. Desmond hadn't wanted to tell him anything before talking to Gary - he didn't want to give him false hopes in case things had gone awry - and then he thought it was better if both of them talked to him. He did told John that someone was coming over for dinner, he just skipped who it was. And by skipped, one should understand totally avoided the topic and cleverly started talking about something else to avoid answering. Desmond didn't want this to fail and some beating around the bush wouldn't hurt anyone. He hoped…

Desmond was nervous, this could either be their salvation or their undoing. However, he believed that this second chance had happened for a reason.

When the ring sounded, he rushed to the door taking advantage that John had still his hands full with the plates.

"You've came," he said to Gary with a nervous smile.

Gary nervously smiled back. He was frightened, but somehow seeing how this also affected Desmond put his nerves back to ease. A bit. He was still anxious of course, he was Gary after all.

"I did," and the shine in his eyes reassured Desmond of his choice to try this.

"Come in," he said letting him pass.

Meanwhile from the kitchen, John begun complaining. "Will you now finally let me know who is coming or will you continue chang-" the words died on John's throat as soon as Gary stepped onto the kitchen and he froze. "Oh."

"Hi," Gary said shyly, wondering if this was a good idea and if John would get angry at him.

John looked at him with an unreadable expression for several seconds before turning his head to look at Desmond that was standing a few steps behind Gary. "What's happening?" he asked with a thin voice.

"I think the three of us have things to discuss. I talked to Gary and he agreed to come," Desmond explained, appearing calm and composed.

"You've talked to him," John repeated, his face still unreadable. "Since when do you talk to Gary?"

"Since yesterday."

"I- I don't understand what's happening," John said falling down on one of the chairs.

"Right back at ya," Gary said trying some levity. "But I'm here nevertheless."

"What's happening," Desmond said while he took the food from the counter and carried it to the table, "is that we're gonna have some dinner, we'll eat, we'll drink and only then we're gonna talk about what we need to talk."

The food was excellent of course, there was no doubt about it when Desmond cooked. Once the initial awkwardness was sorted they managed to have an amicable meal. John and Gary talked about monsters they had hunted together or missions they had separately or what living with the Legends was like. Desmond would tell stories about his patrons.

Mostly, Desmond took the opportunity to watch Gary and John interact. How Gary looked at John as if he had hanged the moon and stars, he was definitely not subtle. And how, more subtlety, John looked at Gary, as if he had found a treasure. He saw the longing in John's eyes, the hurt because he thought Gary was out of reach. He knew he was making the right choice.

When dinner was ready he took out the plates and they all went to the living room. Gary sat on the one seat sofa, while John and Desmond sat on the two seat one.

Well, here it went.

"Are you two gonna tell me what this all was really about?" John asked, hiding his nervousness behind his bravado.

"So, I've noticed how you have not been completely happy. Since we've been together first and now, something has changed and we all know what it was," Desmond said sending a pointing look to Gary. John moved in his seat, maybe he wanted to deny it but Desmond didn't let him. "I know you tried and you wanted to, but I've noticed how you've been unsatisfied. I know you're missing something and that that something is Gary."

Desmond paused, and held John's hands in his.

"So Gary and I have talked and we've reached an agreement. We're willing to try it. The three of us, I believe we can make it work."

John just started at Desmond. "What?" he then stared at Gary who had a soft smile on him. "What?"

This- this couldn't be happening. John was never this lucky. He was about to lose one of them, or both, forever. The universe never smiled at him.

"John, do you love me?" Desmond asked.

"Of course I do," John said fast but then cringed when he realized he had just carelessly said it in front of Gary.

"And do you love Gary?"

This was it. This was John's test. It was the moment when he would either admit what he had known for a long time or he would deny it and crush Gary's heart definitely. But if he admitted it, then he would surely lose Desmond. John casted a glance to Gary and saw the way fragile hope shone in his eyes. Suddenly, there was no longer a choice for John.

He looked at Gary in the eyes, because Gary deserved no less while he heard it for the first time. "I do. I love you, Gary."

Tears fell from Gary's eyes at the same time he grinned.

John remembered Desmond and turned around panicking, afraid of what he might see. But Desmond was smiling at him, his eyes wet. "It's okay, Johnny, it truly is."

Gary then left his chair and kneeled in front of John. There were still tears in his cheeks but John had only eyes for his smile. He raised a hand and put it over Gary's cheek. That was all Gary needed and he came forward and kissed him.

The kiss was salty due to Gary's tears or maybe they were also John's. John had thought he would never have this again. The hand on Gary's cheek moved to hold his hair and he whimpered into the kiss. He had Gary again and these past months of distance found absolution in that kiss.

He loved Gary and this time he could admit it.

When they broke apart, John laid their foreheads together while he smiled, a desperate, panting and almost maniac smile. Here he had the man who had made him company twice during his worst moments, the man who had sacrifice himself for him. Here was the man with the disarming grins that were honest and innocent. Here was a man John loved and thought he had tainted with his darkness, but he was smiling at him as if John was his sun.

John's other hand still held Desmond's. So he turned and looked at him. The man who he had gotten a second chance with. He was still smiling at him, not hint of jealousy, only love in his eyes.

It seemed, like this time, John truly had gotten lucky.

"I believe you two deserve a proper reunion. I'm gonna head out for a while to give you some privacy, Desmond said and got up, but then he bended and kissed John on the mouth once.

"You deserve happiness, John," he said.

More tears fell from John's eyes though he in vain tried to hold them back, he truly needed to hear that blessing.

The door clicked shut and John was alone with Gary. He was lost looking at those eyes. Eyes that looked at him with hope, joy, and most importantly, love.

"I love you," Gary said and John's whole body trembled with emotion.

"I know," John said with a shaky smile. How could he not after everything Gary had done for him.

"Ha, Star Wars reference," Gary giggled.

John's smile become more firm and soft. Yes, this was the dork he was in love with. He was perfect.

He kissed him again.

The warmth of his mouth was so addictive and John wondered how he ever thought he could live without it. His tongue against his, his taste, his smell. But it wasn't enough so John pushed Gary until he was lying over his lap. This way their chests and stomachs close against one another. A few more movements and their groins rubbed together.

They both groaned.

John loved the feeling of Gary's weight over him. It grounded him, it make him feel real. It make him feel caught, that despite all of his self-sabotaging efforts he wouldn't be able to get away. And it was fine, because he didn't want to. He wanted to be caught.

"Gary," he panted and was undone by Gary's lustful blackened eyes and his reddened lips. "I want you to shag me."

"John," Gary moaned.

"Take me, please," John begged uncaring, he knew he could give his heart to this man.

"Anything you want," Gary said before kissing him again.

Gary couldn't believe this was real. That he was able to have John in his arms, to be held by him. And that it was more than a passing thing for John. That it held as much meaning for John as it did for him. That they could lose themselves in each other right now and they would have a tomorrow.

Gary stood and held a hand for John who grabbed it. He then gave a kiss to his knuckles and they walked together to John's bedroom. They held hands, and just that simple act filled Gary with joy.

They did arrive to the bedroom and unlike previous times, Gary was not nervous. He was now certain of his bond with John, and he felt sure enough to show him how he felt. He divested John of his clothes with tender kisses and soft caresses. Surprisingly, John did the same while he undressed Gary.

"You're beautiful," he whispered into his ear. "You're so important to me," the words were breathed like a caress against his jaw, raising goosebumps on Gary.

Maybe it was not surprising considering that John had confessed his love for him. But Gary was not used to this, to John so openly showing how he cared about him both in actions and words.

They didn't rush. When they were both naked, they didn't hurry to touch. Instead they looked at each other, appreciating one another. Gary should have felt uncomfortable, with all of his self-image issues, but instead he felt cared for by John's loving gazed. Eventually, he couldn't resist and stepped closer to John, their bodies coming into contact with no barriers.

He slowly pushed John backwards, taking him to bed, who let himself fall. It took some rearranging then, but then John was kissing Gary while he laid naked over him. He felt safe there in every single aspect.

"Where do you keep the lube and condoms?" Gary asked.

"On the nightstand to the left, babe," John said, and then, to Gary's amazement, he blushed. "No condoms though, we stopped using them a few weeks ago."

"It's okay," Gary said, he trusted John and implicitly he trusted Desmond. "Do you want it like this?"

John nodded. "Yes," he said weakly. Then again, "yes."

Gary lubed his fingers and prepared John. He kissed his jaw and licked his stubble. He caressed John's nipples with his free hand and then stroked his cock so it wouldn't wither. Most importantly, he kissed John until they were both breathless. He then stroked John's prostate with two fingers and a devious smile formed on Gary's face.

"Oh, fuck," John cursed, his spine arching. "Gary, please."

Gary stroked him a few more times, before adding a final finger. He finished stretching him, lubed his cock and positioned himself between John.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

John smiled, he wouldn't be Gary if he didn't check. "Yes, babe," John replied and brought his head down to kiss him.

After the kiss, Gary moved back to look him intently in the eye and pushed in.

John groaned, his head falling back, his eyes closing.

The first times they had been together, John had been too broken. He hadn't properly paid attention to Gary, he had used him as a distraction and little more. Their last time together had been significant. It was when John finally came to peace with the intensity of how he felt about Gary. But right now, right now it was the consummation of all that.

It was a contract, a commitment. A commitment for now and the future. It was John not only accepting that he loved Gary but that he would pursue happiness with him. So John groaned when Gary was inside him, he was already inside him in every other way possible.

Gary set a slow pace, similar to the one that John had set their last time. It was driving John mad in the best way. His hands would hold steady and firmly to every inch of Gary he could find. From the expanses of his back, to the small amount of fat at his sides, to the plenty of flesh of his ass.

"Gary," John panted brokenly in between the moans that escaped unashamedly from his lips. "Gary, touch me."

Gary was already touching him everywhere but he got the message and wrapped a hand around John's cock.

"Yes, I'm so close, Gary. You're shagging me so well," his voice was hoarse.

"John," Gary admonished him, feeling pedaled right to the edge of the precipice. John moaned and then smiled at him. That smiled disarmed Gary. "I love you so much."

And in complete contrast with their last time, John replied, "I love you too."

Gary whimpered and came at that. His body fell limp mostly over John, who took his own cock and jerked himself off fast to completion. He came with the feeling of Gary's chest breathing against his.

They recovered their breaths still clinging to one another, until Gary started feeling uncomfortable with the position so he lied next to John.

"I feel so happy," Gary said looking at the ceiling, a pensive and calm look on him. "I know all of my issues haven't been solved. But for the first time in a long time I feel like everything is gonna work out. I just feel so happy of being here with you."

John turned towards Gary while his heart twinged on itself. He didn't thought it was possible to keep falling for Gary, but here he was, proving him wrong.

He kissed him because he was more a man of action than words. He kissed him and he couldn't have enough of Gary. They had just been together but John needed more. He trailed down kisses down Gary's chest, playing with the hair on his chest, sucking on Gary's one nipple. He kept his path down Gary's stomach.

Still focusing on the skin in front of him, John muttered a spell. Gary trembled when he felt a cold sensation wash over him.

"What was that?" he asked surprised.

"A cleaning spell," John answered matter-of-factly.

"A cleaning spell for what?"

John looked up deviously at him. "For this."

John swiped his tongue over Gary's hole.

"Oh God!" Gary screamed at the wet sensation of John licking and sucking at his asshole. He wasn't sure if he liked it, he just didn't want John to stop.

John put his arms around Gary's thighs to hold him down as Gary moved as if he was electrified. John alternated between sucking around or over it, to sticking his tongue in and tasting him from the inside. Gary seemed to love it judging by the stream of incoherent words and moans he was emitting. John fumbled with his hand to try to get the lube but he didn't reach it. When Gary noticed, although it took him a while, he grabbed the lube and handed it to John.

With a lubed finger, John continued to eat him out while stroking Gary's prostate. He was lost in how Gary took his pleasure. How he trashed on the bed, how he moaned and screamed for John's name, how his fingers clutched to John's hair to the point of being painful, but John didn't care, too busy giving him pleasure.

The hand that was holding Gary's tight, moved to his stomach and spread the cum that had accumulated from Gary's leaking cock. Gary whined and John took pity of him and took hold of his cock. It only required a few strokes and Gary was coming all over John's hand, a few drops landing on his hair. Gary clenched around John's finger and tongue, who moaned at the feeling.

John then sat back on his knees, needing to look at Gary's blissful face.

"Fuck me," Gary said.

"What? Are you sure?" John asked, Gary must be sensitive after what was his second orgasm of the night.

"Please, I need you in me," he begged.

"Okay, babe, okay," because honestly, how could John resist him when he talked to him like that.

He made a quick and thorough job of preparing Gary, though much work wasn't required relaxed as his was. He then entered him in one swift move, panting into Gary's ear.

"I want you to come in me," Gary whispered.

"Fuck, Gary," John exclaimed, tightening his grip around Gary's body.

John's pace afterwards didn't have much finesse, worked up as he was. He drilled into Gary, chasing after his own pleasure and rejoicing in the fact that this beautiful soul had chosen him.

Gary's cock did valiant efforts of coming back up, but it stayed down. Nevertheless, Gary moaned, loving the feeling of John stretching him open, of being a conduct for his pleasure. When John finally came into him, Gary felt special, blessed.

.

After cleaning themselves up, they had fallen asleep, their legs entwined together and John's breath on Gary's chin. Gary stirred when there was some motion in the room.

"Sorry," said Desmond from the door.

Gary smiled at him and raised his hand with some resemblance of a beckoning call, too asleep still for oral speech. Desmond smiled back at Gary and proceeded to lay down on the empty space besides John. The bed was small for the three of them, so Desmond spooned John from behind. Gary and Desmond's hand found each other over John's waist but neither moved it away.

That's how they fell asleep, the three of them.

The next day, when John wake up, Desmond was gone and Gary was still asleep. Gary woke up with a smile, and John looked him as the miracle he was. When their eyes locked together, Gary's smile grew bigger. John kissed him softly until there was a cough at the door.

Desmond was there with a trail which he raised slightly to make a point. "I thought you guys needed breakfast. Too much energy to replenish," he said with a teasing smile.

"Oh, yes!" was Gary eager exclamation.

"Thanks, darling," John said with a smile and kissed Desmond when he was in reach.

All three of them ate on bed, uncaring of the crumbs that fell on the bed or the storms tomorrow might bring. The sun filtered through the windows, surrounding them with its warmth. They were here, and they were happy, that was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mostly want to thank the Constangreen server for being such a muse for my creativity.
> 
> I hope you guys liked it. I identify (and project) with Gary a lot, so yes, this was partly an attempt of self-exploration but also, well, of being worthy of healing and happiness. Thanks for letting me share this with you.
> 
> (also this is a testament of how I think Gary will be key of defeating Neron with his purity, you heard it here first)
> 
> If you liked it, please comment so I can know!!


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